At my home in Vermont, the snow has already begun to fall. We have about a three to four-inch base already, it may thaw…but we are in the midst of the season of snow in the mountains where the dead thickets of brush and fallen trees feel at home within themselves. They are returning to the dirt and their roots. They are resting to come back once again and be in full bloom and full glory. Yet, this state is no less glorious than that of full bloom.
This is my favorite time of year for sound in nature. The silence is deafening as the plants and animals take refuge in their homes, rooted and fastened into a state of deep rest and rejuvenation. When I snowshoe, there is no noise aside from the crunch of the top layer of snow. It is quite a marvelous and joyous experience to feel alone and vulnerable.
Sometimes in the evening as we sit around our fire, I walk onto our porch and look into the sky as the snow falls. With variables like temperature and humidity, the snow itself can take many forms. Dry snow and cold temperatures give wonderful snow as if tiny diamonds littered themselves upon dry leaves. The sound of quiet becomes deafening with a canvas of silence. For when all you listen to is the mute, all sound becomes everything.
Sound and Nada Yoga is not about using sound to heal. It is wonderful that there are proven benefits of working with sound. Yet, the nature of this is self-reflection and self-actualization. To become more by simply understanding the cycles upon which life is based upon. This isn’t a state of study, but a condition of being within the true cycles of nature, outside of urban life.
The canvas is the mind. How do the sounds we hear paint the picture within the mind’s eye? For many, silence is an anxiety-producing experience. It allows a state of little distraction so the subconscious can surface and present the aspects of the mind that are prevalent in those states. For me, silence is a return home. I find great comfort in the fluctuations of the mind. In silence, my thoughts are not always light and love. They are dotted with some fear and many other aspects of the negative mind. But I find no bother in this, for it is a great illusion. It is a movie of the self that is created by the mind and life, but it is not the self. As the snow falls it can fall in the sound of trauma, fear, victimization…any of these. It can also fall as love, connection, and truth. Yet, there is always something in common…they always fall upon the silent mind and evoke emotions and feelings. The fluctuations of those emotions are indicative of one’s past.
One cannot control the snow or the sound it makes. Yet, we can control the canvas upon that which it heard. As life throws the many variables upon us, we continue to acclimate to those fluctuations. We are constantly evolving our minds with what we know and have experienced, but we often forget that this is all built upon nothingness. It is like we began life on one singular road and as we live there are many different directions we can take. Of course, there is no end destination. The interesting part is in life we are always moving forward, and the sad part is we forget we can return home. This I feel is a great hurdle in life, to understand that the silence walks within you. You can access that same nothingness at any point, but it proves challenging with the responsibilities we carry in life.
Meditation is a great reminder of the silence but it is not the totality. It is the reminder. For it is easy to be blissful in this as you understand the fluctuations of the mind. Let’s take this present moment as a reminder. For example, where are you right now and where are you reading this? Spirit is written in these words and it brings you into a certain mind frame, regardless of where you are located. For me, I am writing this in a dirty garage right now waiting for my winter tires to be put on. Dust settles on aged wires as rusted hubs seem to have found their final resting place. Chevy and GMC signs from the 70s are mixed in with toy Sunoco tractor-trailers dotted on homemade shelving. This is the canvas upon which we draw and create. I am no less in the greatest state of oneness with the divine here than I would be in a monastery on a mountainside. God gives no favor to location.
Be it a snow-covered mountainside, or a family-run garage, the beauty of the sound of snow knows no difference. It doesn’t affect the sound it makes. For if you have to be somewhere to be someone, then you think you are something you are not. The sound of snow dotted upon the face of silence is a condition upon which life is based, and even the universe. Dark matter is the nothingness between matter in space as silence is pure potential. For when we access that state of nothing, our canvas is a rich tapestry of inherent beauty. Only from darkness can we see the light and only from silence can we hear the snow.
I have dedicated my life to sound. Aside from my wife and daughter, there is no greater refuge for me. It allows me to place myself within the great cosmic circus as part of the spectacle. As humans, I believe we all want to be heard. We wish for our voice to be respected as a true reflection of the person we are. Our voice is ones essence of individual expression. When we are not heard, we find ourselves in states of deep depression as we believe we are alone in this journey. Sound reminds me that I may be by myself, but I am never alone.